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Check In With Each Other
Having some kind of intentional process you use with your spouse to check in on your marriage, whether that’s going to couples counseling every now and then or something else that you do, is very important.
I typically recommend to couples who’ve graduated from using individual work or group work with me, that they check in regularly, to make sure that they’re remaining in alignment.
How Do You Know if Your Relationship Is in Alignment?
Remember when you were pursuing your partner? Remember how intentional you were about letting them know that you cared about them, were interested in them, that you knew the things they were interested in?
As time passes, it’s normal to slack when it comes to that intentionality in our relationships. Familiarity brings comfort and security to the relationship, but it also makes us slow down on doing all those things we used to that showed our partners how we feel about them. Relationships need both familiarity and novelty.
When the honeymoon phase is long over, we need to work to be more intentional – to bring novelty back into the relationship. To let your partner know that you see them, you understand them, and you want them.
Marriage Check In and Tune-up
One way you can do this is by checking in. An easy way to do this is to choose an anniversary date of some kind, or someone’s birthday – a day that’s easy for both of you to remember – and use that time for a check in with each other. Whether that’s with a therapist, or just on your own, you need to make this plan with intentionality, and follow through with it.
You can use this time to talk about the relationship, and all those dimensions that are important to you both – family, children, pets, money, free time, friends, hobbies, etc. This check in allows you to make sure you’re still in alignment and that you’re both getting what you need – and, if not, to recognize the parts of your relationship that might need a tune-up.
This could (and probably should) happen more often, but if you’re checking in with each other and your relationship at least once a year, you’re well on your way to making your love work.
Gain the Relationship You Desire
If you’re not sure how to go about checking in on your marriage, This LoveWorks can help. This LoveWorks is more than therapy. We utilize the most cutting edge and effective techniques and practices, shown to help couples develop a deeper connection, recognize and address dysfunction, heal your relationship, and nurture, soothe, and help each other.