The “Sometimes” Abusive Partner and Ignoring Red Flags

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Nobody wants to experience abusive behavior in a relationship, but when it happens infrequently, or when it feels not so severe, it is common for the person on the receiving end to make excuses, find reasons to justify the behavior, deem it less important, blame oneself, or choose to ignore it. Red flags like this are often brushed under the rug: “My partner is not a stereotypical abusive person to me but there are times, like once a month or less, that they get mad and they throw things at me, or they break things. It seldom escalates to physical violence, but it has happened a few times.” Ignoring these red flags can be dangerous for oneself – mentally, physically, or both, and it is detrimental to relationships.